SPRING 2008
At one in the morning on Wednesday 27th February I thought the chimney had fallen through the roof, I really did. I went hesitantly up to the top floor, expecting the worst. All seemed well. ‘What was that?’, or words to that effect, I said to my wife. ‘Perhaps it was an earthquake’, she said. Too polite (and too afraid) to tell her not to be so ridiculous, I decided we’d have to wait until the next day to determine the full extent of damage which I certainly expected to find.
Frosty morning in Yorkshire.
It was an earthquake, centred on Market Rasen in Lincolnshire. But it was a very English earthquake. Structural damage was limited. No one was killed. The only person injured was a young man in Wombwell, near Barnsley; a chimney fell onto his bed. Interviewed on television, he said his main concern was whether he would be able to go to the Barnsley-Chelsea Cup tie. (He did, and Barnsley won, probably the best day of his life). The media, of course, loved it. We were soon sick of hearing jokes about the earth moving and there were vox pop stories of the ‘My budgie fell off its perch’ variety. My favourite was the man who said, ‘I could see my wife wobbling’. Not an unusual sight in these parts.
An advert in the Yorkshire Post by Shepherd Homes, based in York, for new houses in York was headlined ‘Yorkshire’s Finest’. It featured a stunning photograph of, er, Durham Cathedral.
There has been correspondence in The Daily Telegraph about whether it is possible to see both coasts at the same time. Geoff and June Beardshall of Sheffield said that they understood that this was possible from Buckden Pike though it was pouring down when they were there and they couldn’t see 25 yards. A L Smith of Haworth wrote to say that from Withens Height, above Top Withens, one can with binoculars on a clear day see Blackpool Tower, the Humber Bridge and York Minster. Ian Henderson said that from the summit of Whernside he has clearly seen the Irish Sea to the west, the Lake District to the north, the North Sea in the north-east and the North Yorkshire Moors. He says understandably that this is one of the most stunning views he has ever seen.
On Buckden Pike
Aren’t our policemen wonderful? Simon Finnegan, a Rugby League player with Bradford Bulls, was recently arrested for carrying a firearm. He was in fact on his way home from a fancy dress party to which he had gone dressed as a gangster carrying a toy gun.
My younger son is now in his first year at University College London (UCL) and I went down to Bloomsbury to spend a couple of days with him. The area teems with young people from all over the world and really buzzes. No wonder he is enjoying himself so much. I went to the restored St Pancras station which is a triumph. Money spent well and only spoilt by a hideous statue of a badly dressed couple who look like extras from Hollyoaks.
I was also able to spend half a day at the British Museum, one of my favourite places. It is indeed a national treasure like Westminster Abbey and Alan Bennett and the Book of Common Prayer and Gareth Gates. The restored King’s Library houses exhibits relating to The Enlightenment. The beauty of the room is breathtaking. I am always spellbound when I go there as I was at the British Library. New exhibits there include a handwritten letter by Elizabeth I and a plea by Sir Thomas More to Henry VIII to be spared. I always find London exciting. I fear the boy may stay there.
Maybe it’s because I don’t use it very often and when I do I only use main lines, but I generally find our rail service reliable and comfortable. Because the franchise has recently changed, the east coast line is now operated by National Express. I do miss the rather fine GNER livery. That of National Express establishes a new standard of ordinariness and the employees look like check-out staff.
The Powers That Be are not content with having re-branded polytechnics and colleges such that we now have more than a hundred ‘universities’, some of which give, and I use that word deliberately, degrees in such things as flower arranging and iPodology. They are proposing ever more universities so that even those with serious learning difficulties can become graduates. So step forward Dewsbury Ring Road University, Flamingoland Institute of Science and Technology and The Woolley Edge Services University, sponsored by McDonalds.
Bob Gascoigne emigrated to Canada over forty years ago but, John Rigg tells us, he has never lost his love of the delicacies of his younger days which he fondly calls ‘Yorkshire Soul Food’. Following heart surgery, Bob is on a strict diet and we are pleased to report that he is fine and well. You will understand that his wife carefully monitors his diet - with an enthusiasm which would have been familiar to residents of Dotheboys Hall. Recently however, Bob slipped into Yorkshire alone. We are reliably informed that, within three hours of arriving at Leeds City Station Bob had consumed three pork pies, fish and chips twice and a pound of tripe before returning to London with three further pork pies for the journey. As Bob often says, ‘Bugger maple syrup’.
Pie shop in Skipton
Among the Good Pub Guide’s top ten pubs in the country for lunch is Three Acres, Shelley, near Huddersfield. This is, we are assured, a traditional coaching inn with fine views across Emley Moor. The steak and kidney pie is recommended, Bob.
But last year 1400 pubs in England closed and the trend continues this year. Costs, spivs in the City, the smoking ban and social changes are responsible. But someone said when you’ve lost England’s inns, you’ve lost England. So it's nice to be able to report a pub re-opening. For many, a Yorkshire landmark has always been the Dyneley Arms at the crossroads before you fall down the hill on the A658 to Pool-in-Wharfedale. It was ruined in a fire a few years ago and has stood empty and been ransacked in the years since. Until now. It has been rebuilt and the reconstruction has been achieved extraordinarily well. The inn now resembles its former former self more than its former self did. Well, I know what I mean even if you don't.
The Dyneley Arms
(Click & hold to view pub as it was before)
We are constantly urged to be green and environmentally responsible and we do our best. We try to conserve power despite the fact that virtually every public building is overheated and lights burn in offices all night. But it is difficult to take the authorities seriously when we learn that within four years the EU will require all new cars to be fitted with automatic daytime headlights. This will apparently increase fuel consumption and carbon dioxide emissions.
A couple of letters in The Daily Telegraph discussed which is England’s oldest school. It is apparently St Peter’s, York. It was established in 627. Astonishing. In 627 Elmet had recently fallen, the Roman towns had been destroyed and the King of Northumbria embraced Christianity that year. England would not come into existence for several centuries yet.
This year the pancake race which has been held in Ripon for 600 years was cancelled. The cathedral authorities could no longer cope with the extent of risk assessment and its expense demanded by the Health and Safety industry. The much-loved race has always taken place on cobbled streets which might be wet or a child might slip on a dropped pancake. You can imagine the potential carnage. So the fun is squeezed out of life. I’d like to toss not pancakes but our legislators. Into the Ure. Weighed down by regulations.
Ripon Cathedral
J D Brearley
